Nice to Smell You!…

Number 3…

‘OMG I’ve run out of aftershave!’ He said.

‘I’m not surprised.’ I said.

‘Why do you say that?!’ he said.

‘Because you’re meant to smell a ‘little’ bit nice as you walk past people,’ I said, ‘you’re not meant to choke them to death!’

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No chicken with my chicken please!

On our way home we stopped at KFC. I thought Number 3 might like some lunch bought home so I text him.

‘Would you like some KFC?’ I said.

‘Yes please.’ He said.

‘What do you want then?’ I said.

‘Can you get me something with no chicken in please?’ he said.

‘No,’ I said, ‘it’s a chicken shop, they only sell chicken.’

‘Oh, no thanks then.’ He said.

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Early wake-up!…

The doorbell rang at 4:35am Sunday morning.

Panic swept over me, it must mean bad news.

I look out the window but can’t see anything, of course I didn’t have my contact lenses in so couldn’t see anything anyway.

I woke The Husband to tell him there was someone at the door. We waited for it to ring again but it didn’t.

‘It’s ok,’ He said, ‘Go back to sleep.’

I fell back into an uneasy sleep.

Next day I asked Number 2 if he heard the doorbell.

‘Oh yes,’ He said, ‘it was 2 + 1.’

‘At half past four in the morning???’ I exclaimed.

‘Yes, she was missing me,’ he said, ‘that’s cute isn’t it.’

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‘No.’

A Lovely Family Day Out!

I felt we needed a family day out. It was Saturday and no one was doing much.

I knocked on Number 2’s bedroom door.

‘We’re going out,’ I said, ‘are you coming?’

‘What time is it?’ He said.

‘Half nine.’ I said.

‘Oh my God,’ he said, ‘why are you in my room at half past nine.’

‘Get up,’ I said, ‘let’s go out, it’ll be fun.’

‘No it won’t,’ he said, ‘I’ve got no money anyway.’

‘I’ll pay,’ I said, ‘get up.’

Silence.

‘Talk to me about it in an hour.’ He said.

Number 3 – ‘I’m not coming I’m going out.’ He said.

‘Come with us, it’ll be fun.’ I say.

‘No, I don’t want to.’ He said.

‘That’s a shame,’ I said, ‘I was looking forward to a family day out.’

‘My bike is broke, can you help me out with it? If you can we can pop it to the shop to get fixed and then I’ll come with you.’

‘Fine.’ I say.

Conclusion – eventually a great day was had by all!

It’s Raining…

Number 2 was just about to leave for work.

‘It’s tipping down outside,’ he said, ‘can I take your umbrella?’

‘No,’ I said, ‘it’s mine!’

‘Why are there no umbrellas in this stupid house?’ He says.

‘Where’s your umbrella?’ I say.

‘In the car. I’ve got about 3 in the car.’

‘Oh,’ I say, ‘that’s why there’s no umbrella’s in the house, because they’re all in your car.’
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