Leave That Tree Alone!..

Number 2 & 3 are very honest with me, sometimes too much so and to the extent that I have to remind them that I’m actually their Mum. Sometimes I prefer not to know and keep my rose tinted glasses in which I view them firmly fixed.

Here is an example why!…

Number 3 looked suspicious.

‘What’s up?’ I said.

He smiled, he seemed a little too happy.

‘Why are you smiling?’ I said, ‘What have you done?’

He laughed. ‘Nothing,’ he said, ‘just me and the boys are planning something.’

Oh God! I think to myself. I raise my eyebrows at him.

‘We’re going to take the school Christmas tree.’ He said.

‘Take the tree?! What do you mean,’ I said.

Fear started building in my stomach.

‘We’ve decided to take the tree.’

‘Why would you do that?’ I said. ‘You can’t steal the school Christmas tree!’

‘It’s not stealing. Get a life mum, it’s only a prank!’

‘If it’s not yours and you take it then that’s stealing.’ I said.

‘It’s a prank, we’ll put it back afterwards.’ He said.

‘How about if you don’t take it in the first place then you won’t have to bother taking it back and save yourself the energy!’

‘It’s our last Christmas at school. We’re going to take the tree.’

I’m stunned into a moment’s silence.

‘And we’re going to bring it back here to our house!’ He said.

‘What??’

‘Yes.’

‘No you’re not.’

‘Yes we are.’

‘No you’re not.’

‘We actually are.’

‘No, do not steal that tree. We have our own tree, I don’t want another one!’

Visions of a dozen 16 year olds dashing along the street as they make their way to our house covered in tinsel and fairy lights carrying a 10ft potted tree sprang uncomfortably to mind!

My stomach turns and I feel slightly nauseous.

‘Don’t even think about it.’

‘Lol mum it’ll be fun.’

‘That’s not fun think of something else!’

As yet no tree has arrived, I have 2 more sleepless nights to go before school breaks up for the holidays and I can breathe easy again.

Roll on Friday.

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Nice to Smell You!…

Number 3…

‘OMG I’ve run out of aftershave!’ He said.

‘I’m not surprised.’ I said.

‘Why do you say that?!’ he said.

‘Because you’re meant to smell a ‘little’ bit nice as you walk past people,’ I said, ‘you’re not meant to choke them to death!’

No chicken with my chicken please!

On our way home we stopped at KFC. I thought Number 3 might like some lunch bought home so I text him.

‘Would you like some KFC?’ I said.

‘Yes please.’ He said.

‘What do you want then?’ I said.

‘Can you get me something with no chicken in please?’ he said.

‘No,’ I said, ‘it’s a chicken shop, they only sell chicken.’

‘Oh, no thanks then.’ He said.

!

Early wake-up!…

The doorbell rang at 4:35am Sunday morning.

Panic swept over me, it must mean bad news.

I look out the window but can’t see anything, of course I didn’t have my contact lenses in so couldn’t see anything anyway.

I woke The Husband to tell him there was someone at the door. We waited for it to ring again but it didn’t.

‘It’s ok,’ He said, ‘Go back to sleep.’

I fell back into an uneasy sleep.

Next day I asked Number 2 if he heard the doorbell.

‘Oh yes,’ He said, ‘it was 2 + 1.’

‘At half past four in the morning???’ I exclaimed.

‘Yes, she was missing me,’ he said, ‘that’s cute isn’t it.’

!
‘No.’

A Lovely Family Day Out!

I felt we needed a family day out. It was Saturday and no one was doing much.

I knocked on Number 2’s bedroom door.

‘We’re going out,’ I said, ‘are you coming?’

‘What time is it?’ He said.

‘Half nine.’ I said.

‘Oh my God,’ he said, ‘why are you in my room at half past nine.’

‘Get up,’ I said, ‘let’s go out, it’ll be fun.’

‘No it won’t,’ he said, ‘I’ve got no money anyway.’

‘I’ll pay,’ I said, ‘get up.’

Silence.

‘Talk to me about it in an hour.’ He said.

Number 3 – ‘I’m not coming I’m going out.’ He said.

‘Come with us, it’ll be fun.’ I say.

‘No, I don’t want to.’ He said.

‘That’s a shame,’ I said, ‘I was looking forward to a family day out.’

‘My bike is broke, can you help me out with it? If you can we can pop it to the shop to get fixed and then I’ll come with you.’

‘Fine.’ I say.

Conclusion – eventually a great day was had by all!