I’m dismayed to find this parenting lark doesn’t get easier when the kids get older. I thought it would…I was wrong! Why don’t people tell you these things!
Number 2 and 2 + 1 have booked another holiday and they are very excited about it.
I, on the other hand, am hoping they lose their passports!
They have chosen to go further afield, which is nice. The thought of them exploring the world is a fantastic notion.
The reality makes me feel nauseous.
The country they have chosen has safe zones (!)…there are green (good bits) yellow (not so good I assume) and red (I don’t even want to think about that).
Number 2 has assured me that the resort is mostly green.
What about the other bits I want to cry! But I don’t, I smile and say ‘that’s nice dear!’
He shows me pictures of the resort. It looks fabulous. It looks like it’s enclosed by a big wall or something. What is on the other side of the wall??? I try to peer behind the screen and look to the side but I can’t see. I want to say ‘no you can’t go there, it’s not safe enough, the wall could be higher, I don’t even know what’s on the other side of the wall, maybe it should be closer to home?’ but I don’t. I smile and say ‘that looks amazing.’ And it does too. Crystal clear pools, beautiful blue skies. Don’t we have that here?! Cornwall is beautiful in the summer. Perhaps he should just stay at home!
It’s so far away, a different world.
What if it doesn’t go to plan? Is he prepared? Have I prepared him enough for the ‘crapness’ that life sometimes brings? I guess I can only hope so.
He has such great qualities, he’s more fearless, courageous and confident at 19 than I am at 44. He’s so great, but that’s not helpful when you’re his mum, I worry!
We’ve reached a compromise. I bought him ‘Safe’, the book by Chris Ryan @chrisryan, for Christmas. I’ve read it, it’s a great book and kind of covers everything about everything I want (need) him to know.
He has to read it cover to cover (at least twice).
I will feel better then(!).
I will continue to resist the urge to pack myself in his suitcase just to make sure he’s ok.
I will feel better when he comes home and shows me his photo’s and tells me he’s had a great time.
I will try not to think about it!