So my pregnancy didn’t go as planned and I will be adding my diary of events on my blog because I want to get it off my chest, and as it was a catalogue of disasters my record may (somehow, perhaps) help someone else, so please don’t read if they might be a trigger for you or if you prefer reading happier things. I will return to happy posts in-between. These posts will most certainly contain TMI.
And it starts here…
There is blood.
Not the usual sort and not much but it’s still there, something sort of, but in a weirder form.
The Husband is not alarmed.
The Bestie offers some theories.
I feel panicked and queasy.
I put myself to bed and fall asleep in half a second.
So I have spots, blood and milk. I am exhausted to the extent that I can’t even be bother to think.
The cause – something only a few weeks old and that, apparently, is the size of a poppy seed.
I wonder what it will be able to do by the time its 18 because it’s really clever so far!
Today I was excited about the cleaning the kitchen floor…I have a new mop.
Sometimes, when you work from home and don’t get out much, this is as exciting as it gets….
I look online at pregnancy calculators to see what date said baby is due.
I am, apparently, 4 weeks pregnant on one site, 5 weeks and 4 days on another site and somewhere between the two on another 5 sites. I think they have the month right so we’ll just head for that I guess.
So, I have approximately 8 months to find another bedroom lurking in the house somewhere that I have not yet come across.
So much for my spectacular ‘We’re having a Baby’ announcement.
The Husband was as unimpressed by the (glaringly obvious) blue lines on the tests as he was with the other 12000 negative tests before them.
‘I won’t believe it until I see it.’ He says.
‘See what?’ I say.
‘The baby.’ He says.
I show him the Digital test with the word ‘pregnant’ displayed in the window.
‘What does that mean?’ he says.
The Husband has quickly learnt not to upset an emotionally fraught pregnant woman. He has learnt that if he does can expect a reaction similar to that of taking a packet of crisps off of a really big Polar Bear.
Number 2 and Number 2 + 1 have had a row.
I tried to not get involved but they both kept hovering around me for something – for what exactly I’m not sure of as I know they both wanted me to stay out of it but they wouldn’t go away!
I try to mediate for 30 seconds, jumping from one view point to the other but it’s not helpful.
They both stomp around the house sulking like they own it, or at least are contributing to the mortgage.
I quietly make tea.
‘I don’t want any.’ Snaps Number 2 but takes his seat at the table anyway.
6 seated at the table. No one speaks, all too afraid that we might tip the balance.
The Husband and I eat in silence at our own kitchen table, in our own house, with heads bowed like naughty school children.
Number 2 + 1 can’t eat and she looks close to tears, she storms off to her house a short while later.
An hour later the issue has been resolved and she’s back, and we all breathe a sigh of relief and I’m grateful to get into bed!
The Husband texts while I am triple checking the 5 tests.
‘Ok?’ he says.
‘I’m happy.’ I say whilst I work out the best way to tell him!
I want to show The Husband the stark blue line on the tests but when I look at them several hours later they’ve all but gone and have shrunk to an non-descript slither that he is very unlikely to be able to see unless he has a microscope in his pocket!
I should have bought a digital!
I didn’t so I will have to switch to plan B and a mutter of ‘I’m pregnant’ will just have to suffice!
I suddenly realise that we don’t have enough bedrooms in the house – we actually have nowhere to put a new baby!
My Snapchat spies tell me that Number 2 has sunburn!
I enquire to this fact when he texts, remembering the last instruction I issued was ‘don’t get sunburnt!’
‘Oh yeah,’ he says, ‘I don’t know even how that happened.’
Ummmm … that’ll be the sun, just like I said!
I leave it there. There is safety with him knowing that I know things that he doesn’t think I know.
He knows that Mum’s know things even if he is 2,500 miles away!!!
There are no measures in Mummy…ing!
I have a stinking cold, my teeth hurt, and I think the beginnings of a UTI, I want to stay in bed but I can’t sleep.
Regarding the breast lump issue and everything else, I couldn’t get a doctor’s appointment for another 3 weeks.
I decide I am not going to spend the next 3 weeks worrying so I push it all to the back of my mind. I will deal with whatever when whatever comes along.
And then…So… 24 dpo and 11 days late for af and there it is……the BFP (big fat positive!) test result I have been waiting for.
I do another one.
I follow that with another 3.
They are all positive!!!
And I don’t even need to –
a) Take them apart.
b) Hold them to the light.
c) Twist them at an angle or
d) Compare them to 50 other tests of 50 different anonymous women’s tests that they have pictured across 10 different TTC forums.
They are positive…all of them!