That’s nice…

It was a stressful morning, I was trying to get ready but there was knock after knock on the bedroom door.

Number 4 was at the door this time.

‘Oh my goodness’ I said, ‘can I not just have 5 minutes to get myself ready in peace, I’ll do whatever you want when I’ve finished!’

Number 4 stood and watched me for a moment.

‘You don’t need to put on make-up,’ she said, ‘you’re really pretty as it is.’

‘Ok,’ I said, ‘you can stay, why don’t you sit down.’




It’s hard sometimes, this parenting lark!

I’m dismayed to find this parenting lark doesn’t get easier when the kids get older. I thought it would…I was wrong! Why don’t people tell you these things!

Number 2 and 2 + 1 have booked another holiday and they are very excited about it.
I, on the other hand, am hoping they lose their passports!

They have chosen to go further afield, which is nice. The thought of them exploring the world is a fantastic notion.

The reality makes me feel nauseous.

The country they have chosen has safe zones (!)…there are green (good bits) yellow (not so good I assume) and red (I don’t even want to think about that).

Number 2 has assured me that the resort is mostly green.

What about the other bits I want to cry! But I don’t, I smile and say ‘that’s nice dear!’

He shows me pictures of the resort. It looks fabulous. It looks like it’s enclosed by a big wall or something. What is on the other side of the wall??? I try to peer behind the screen and look to the side but I can’t see. I want to say ‘no you can’t go there, it’s not safe enough, the wall could be higher, I don’t even know what’s on the other side of the wall, maybe it should be closer to home?’ but I don’t. I smile and say ‘that looks amazing.’ And it does too. Crystal clear pools, beautiful blue skies. Don’t we have that here?! Cornwall is beautiful in the summer. Perhaps he should just stay at home!

It’s so far away, a different world.

What if it doesn’t go to plan? Is he prepared? Have I prepared him enough for the ‘crapness’ that life sometimes brings? I guess I can only hope so.

He has such great qualities, he’s more fearless, courageous and confident at 19 than I am at 44. He’s so great, but that’s not helpful when you’re his mum, I worry!

We’ve reached a compromise. I bought him ‘Safe’, the book by Chris Ryan @chrisryan, for Christmas. I’ve read it, it’s a great book and kind of covers everything about everything I want (need) him to know.

He has to read it cover to cover (at least twice).
I will feel better then(!).

I will continue to resist the urge to pack myself in his suitcase just to make sure he’s ok.

I will feel better when he comes home and shows me his photo’s and tells me he’s had a great time.

I will try not to think about it!


Fancy a snack?…

I was giving the dog one of his treats.

‘I don’t think he likes those ones,’ The Husband said, ‘I don’t blame him they’re horrible. Have you tried one?’

‘No, they’re dog biscuits,’ I said, ‘why would I try one?!’

‘You haven’t ever eaten one?’

‘No. why would I they’re dog biscuits?!’

‘Oh!,’ he said, ‘I thought everybody did.’

‘No, I don’t think so!’

Did I miss a birthday?!…

‘Is the day you’re born your birthday?’ asked Number 3.

‘No,’ I said, ‘it’s your day of birth, your birthdays start the next year.’

‘Did you say happy birthday to me when I was born?’ He asked.

‘No I didn’t, I just said ‘ouch that really hurt’.’


That must have been fun!

I had a call from school.
Number 3 had walked into a wall and had bashed his head.

He was fine but apparently not able to walk the 10 doors away to our house unaccompanied and I was ordered to collect him straight away.

Once home I inspected the injury and there was a large bruised egg shape on his forehead.

‘How did you manage to walk into a wall?’ I said.

‘I didn’t,’ he said, ‘I head-butted it.’

‘Oh!’ I said, ‘on purpose?’

‘Yes.’ He said.

‘Why would you do that?!’ I said.

‘I thought it was polystyrene,’ he said, ‘I was messing about.’

‘It is probably best to check first before you use your head to bash things.’ I said.

‘Yes,’ he said, ‘it really hurt.’

‘I’m sure it did,’ I said pressing a cold towel on his head, ‘I guess you won’t do that again then?’

‘No, probably not.’ He said.

Do Fish Have Fingers?!…

‘What’s for tea?’ asked Number 4, ‘I’m starving.’

‘Fish fingers tonight,’ I said, ‘I’m shattered so we’re having an easy tea.’

‘What exactly are fish fingers anyway?’ she asked.

‘Fishes fingers.’ I said without thinking.

‘Fish don’t have fingers.’ She said.

‘Yes they do,’ I said, ‘it says so on the box.’ I added, muttering something about the trade description act.

She looked at me with a bemused look on her face used to my story telling. She pushed on.

‘I’ve never seen a fish with fingers.’ She said laughing.

‘You haven’t seen lots of things that doesn’t mean they don’t exist.’ I said.

‘What do they look like?’ she said.

‘Fishes with fingers.’ I said.

She shook her head. ‘You’re so silly.’ She said.

‘Look,’ I said. I sat down and drew her a picture of a fish with fingers.’

‘They’re not fingers,’ she said, ‘they’re gills!’

‘They’re gills now because they already took off their fingers and put them in a box,’ I said, ‘all fishes have their fingers removed, that’s why they have such a shocked look on their faces while they’re swimming along, they’re wondering where their fingers went.’

Number 3 walked in to the room. Number 4 turned to him.

‘Do fish have fingers?’ she asked.

He looked at me and shook his head, ‘Oh God mum you are so stupid!’ he said and carried on playing on his phone.

Shortly after Number 2 arrived home.

‘Do fishes have fingers?’ she asked him.

He looked at me and shook his head, ‘Oh God mum you are so stupid.’ He said and walked off upstairs.

Numbers 4 & 5 and myself spent the rest of the afternoon giggling away as we draw our pictures of our fishes with fingers and I remembered in the mist of the Christmas madness that the best things in life are indeed free.

We all enjoyed the fish fingers too!