‘What’s for tea?’ asked Number 4, ‘I’m starving.’
‘Fish fingers tonight,’ I said, ‘I’m shattered so we’re having an easy tea.’
‘What exactly are fish fingers anyway?’ she asked.
‘Fishes fingers.’ I said without thinking.
‘Fish don’t have fingers.’ She said.
‘Yes they do,’ I said, ‘it says so on the box.’ I added, muttering something about the trade description act.
She looked at me with a bemused look on her face used to my story telling. She pushed on.
‘I’ve never seen a fish with fingers.’ She said laughing.
‘You haven’t seen lots of things that doesn’t mean they don’t exist.’ I said.
‘What do they look like?’ she said.
‘Fishes with fingers.’ I said.
She shook her head. ‘You’re so silly.’ She said.
‘Look,’ I said. I sat down and drew her a picture of a fish with fingers.’
‘They’re not fingers,’ she said, ‘they’re gills!’
‘They’re gills now because they already took off their fingers and put them in a box,’ I said, ‘all fishes have their fingers removed, that’s why they have such a shocked look on their faces while they’re swimming along, they’re wondering where their fingers went.’
Number 3 walked in to the room. Number 4 turned to him.
‘Do fish have fingers?’ she asked.
He looked at me and shook his head, ‘Oh God mum you are so stupid!’ he said and carried on playing on his phone.
Shortly after Number 2 arrived home.
‘Do fishes have fingers?’ she asked him.
He looked at me and shook his head, ‘Oh God mum you are so stupid.’ He said and walked off upstairs.
Numbers 4 & 5 and myself spent the rest of the afternoon giggling away as we draw our pictures of our fishes with fingers and I remembered in the mist of the Christmas madness that the best things in life are indeed free.
We all enjoyed the fish fingers too!