Number 4 initiates her usual quandary over what to have for breakfast, there is an array of cereal or there is toast.
It’s not an unusual choice, it’s the same pretty much every day.
Today it seems to be a lot more difficult than it should be.
‘We have Pop Tarts at Daddy’s.’ She says.
‘You’re not at Daddy’s.’ I say.
‘I don’t like cereal or toast.’ She says.
‘You liked it yesterday.’ I say.
A long 10 minutes pass…
‘Fine then, I’ll have toast.’ She screams.
‘Fine then.’ I say.
She eats the toast. I take her to school. I’m now late for work.
On my return I realise I haven’t had time for breakfast, no time for toast so I scoff down 3 jam tarts and a can of coke!
‘OMG I’ve run out of aftershave!’ He said.
‘I’m not surprised.’ I said.
‘Why do you say that?!’ he said.
‘Because you’re meant to smell a ‘little’ bit nice as you walk past people,’ I said, ‘you’re not meant to choke them to death!’
I gave Number 5 her pocket money for a week well done.
‘What’s up?’ I said.
She frowned again and handed the money back.
‘I don’t want it,’ she said, ‘I’ve got too much money already.’
I think I’ll enjoy that attitude while it lasts!
On our way home we stopped at KFC. I thought Number 3 might like some lunch bought home so I text him.
‘Would you like some KFC?’ I said.
‘Yes please.’ He said.
‘What do you want then?’ I said.
‘Can you get me something with no chicken in please?’ he said.
‘No,’ I said, ‘it’s a chicken shop, they only sell chicken.’
‘Oh, no thanks then.’ He said.
I have instigated a new healthier eating plan at home in a bid for us all to eat less meat and more veggies.
As I overloaded the oven dish with sweetcorn, spinach and just a small amount of ham The Husband looked on suspiciously.
‘Ok?’ I said.
‘Hmmm,’ he said, ‘you said you’ve cooked this dish before then?’
‘Yes.’ I said.
‘Oh,’ he said, ‘ummmm and you all survived?’
The doorbell rang at 4:35am Sunday morning.
Panic swept over me, it must mean bad news.
I look out the window but can’t see anything, of course I didn’t have my contact lenses in so couldn’t see anything anyway.
I woke The Husband to tell him there was someone at the door. We waited for it to ring again but it didn’t.
‘It’s ok,’ He said, ‘Go back to sleep.’
I fell back into an uneasy sleep.
Next day I asked Number 2 if he heard the doorbell.
‘Oh yes,’ He said, ‘it was 2 + 1.’
‘At half past four in the morning???’ I exclaimed.
‘Yes, she was missing me,’ he said, ‘that’s cute isn’t it.’
Number 3 – ‘ohhh, I’ve got poodles and peedles.’ He said.
‘What???’ I exclaimed.
‘Oh you know, ummmm…pins and needles.’ He said.