Me, Them and Mayhem

Looking on the lighter side of family life.

Me, The Husband and the wonderful +5 (and maybe, hopefully +1 more!)

From conception to way, way, way, beyond…



And It’s Off To The Agent…

So I’ve finished writing my book. It’s taken the best part of the year. I squeezed writing it into hours when I should have either been asleep or doing something else. But it was a necessity, to me. If I did nothing else just for me, I was going to finish writing that story.

Now is the time to approach the agents. It’s scary, far scarier than the blank page, or attacking the blinding fog of the forth chapter.

There’re busy. They may not read further than my introductory letter. My letter may be rubbish, I re-read it until I knew it off by heart but still it may be rubbish. Probably I will get a standard reply, maybe they will say that they have read it and it’s rubbish. I would prefer that they said it was rubbish as rubbish is better than nothing. You can work on rubbish, but nothing is nowhere.

I don’t want to be standard.

To start writing a book is easy, to finish one is hard and it’s easier to have an early night and forget about it.

I am checking my emails every 30 seconds, praying that just one will see something in my work and offer me some encouragement. I am not holding my breath. Maybe I’ll just write another one.

My Chocolate Addiction…

I’m still trying to diet. I’m not very good at it.

‘You need to stop eating so much chocolate.’ The Husband said.

‘Why would I do that?’ I said. ‘I like it and it makes me happy!’

‘No it doesn’t,’ he said. ‘It only makes you happy for a moment, then you get a sugar crash.’

‘Aha,’ I said. ‘Not if you don’t stop eating it, then there’s no time for a crash!’

A little poem I wrote…

I like to write. I can’t seem to help it, it’s my therapy and my friend. I don’t always write well, but I enjoy it.

Today The Husband and I were sorting through the loft and I found a selection of funny little poems I wrote when my boys were little and I thought I would share one as it made me smile (and slightly concerned as to my sense of humour!)

Sally the Spider…

Sally the spider was working hard on her web

Spinning it from the most delicate thread

Up and down, and around and around

High as she could above the ground

It needed to safe, she had to be certain

Then she found the perfect place, right above the curtain

It took her two days and nearly two nights

For the perfect formation, it had to be just right

At last she was finished and needed a rest

She was worn out, tired, not looking her best

She laid back and smiled, this web was clearly a winner

All she needed now was to lie in the corner and wait for her dinner

With a web this size, it certainly shouldn’t be long

So she bide her time and quietly hummed a song

Sure enough as the minutes ticked by

The sound of her song was replaced by the buzz of a fly

Sally licked her lips as the fly drew near

Dinner, she grinned, was all but here

But the fly saw the web out the corner of his eye

He braked hard left and flew straight by

He landed on the lampshade, his wings as heavy as lead

He’d only missed that web by the length of his head

That was a lucky escape, he thought, as he flew carefully away

Glad that he would live to fly through another day

Sally sighed, but inside she was fuming

But wait, another sound! A vacuum was looming

The familiar hum got nearer and nearer

Sally let out a cry but there was no one to hear her

She held on tight but there was nothing to be done

And Sally waved ‘bye bye’, as she was sucked into the drum!!!

Watch the paint!

We’ve been busy decorating for the past few weeks.

Number 2 walked down the stairs and slid his hand through the wet paint.

‘Oh for goodness sake,’ he said. ‘Why didn’t you tell me the paint was wet!’

‘I thought the fact that I’m stood on the ladder painting it might have given it away!’

‘Oh yeah, right. ok,’ he said.

I made bread!

It snowed. Everyone else had eaten all the bread in the shops. I fell into despair. What would I feed everyone!

I had flour and yeast, there was only one thing for it. I made bread.

ok, so it took all afternoon to produce a batch of 12 rolls but out of the oven came 12 (nearly) perfect looking rolls that looked, surprisingly, good enough to eat.

Today they have gone to school/work with freshly made home baked crusty rolls (they were meant to be crusty) and I feel like a hero!